This post is a lengthy departure from my usual diatribes, devoted to the analysis of a screed I found on AlterNet entitled “16 of the Dumbest Things Americans Believe — And the Right-Wing Lies Behind Them”, written by an upcoming young kikette named Ms. Sarah Seltzer, apparently a liberal legend in her own mind. She is also labeled by the media as an “expert” in “pop culture”, which apparently means she is little more than an observer of trendy fads among the young and is paid by networks to run her mouth about what she observes. Judging from her arrogant, slanted, sanctimonious remarks, she apparently loves to pontificate about how brilliant she is, and how stupid everyone else is. Ms. Seltzer also enjoys calling other people liars, when she too takes mendacious liberties when putting her thoughts to paper. Such an attitude is called hypocrisy, a dark virtue of which most humans are very adept. For your reading pleasure, posted below are selected excerpts taken from her latest self-congratulating, pseudo-intellectual, left-wing propaganda, posted together with jaded, insensitive, foul-mouthed commentary from me, an ancient nobody that thinks Sarah Seltzer is little more than a homely cunt looking for attention and admiration from other left-wing liberals. If you want to read her entire screed for comparison it’s all over the Internet, this terse diatribe is long enough without adding the rest of her sophomoric claptrap.
That’s the real problem on this tiny ball of dust in the middle of nowhere, circa late 2010 CE. Both liberal and conservative hairless simians “preach to the choir”, so to speak, and then believe, thanks to worshipful hominid sycophants who hang on their every word and extol their virtues via flattering missives, that their views are validated or even popular among the citizenry. I know my views are not popular by any measure of the word, and I don’t give a good goddamn if they are; I write this shit for myself. If someone wants to agree that’s fine with me, and if they don’t, that’s fine with me too; the close button is always available for use. Writing and telling me I’m a motherfucker, a Commie-Nazi or other such silliness won’t bother me in the least; by now that should be obvious.
I do wish fucking people would give perhaps a cursory examination of any given issue and actually learn to think for themselves, at least on occasion, rather than let others do their thinking for them, but alas, they never will. I would even consider the idea of praying that folks would learn to think for themselves, but, judging from the available evidence, there is nothing out there to hear such a humble supplication, so I won’t waste my time.
So, here goes. I will cut to the chase and shall address, one by one, sheenie Seltzer’s sixteen “dumbest things that Americans believe”. Now don’t be a bigoted ass and think I will disagree with everything this appearance-challenged yenta says, as even broken clocks can be correct twice a day, excepting, of course, for 24 hour clocks, and in that case only once.
1) Polling data during and after last week’s midterm elections suggested that many Americans genuinely believe President Obama has raised their taxes — even though the reality is that our president actually lowered them for most of us.
Conway: Sure, a lot of dimwitted Americans believe that, but Ms. Seltzer is plainly obfuscating with regard to the head eightball lowering taxes. Blue gum Obama has done absolutely fucking nothing to lower any taxes, and did in fact raise taxes on tobacco and tobacco products. I guess that in Seltzer’s world, not raising taxes is lowering them. Silly me for thinking differently.
2) Half of new Congressmen don’t believe in the reality of global warming. It’s not that they don’t just disagree on the source or the severity of the problem. They flat out don’t think the world is getting warmer–despite the evidence outside their windows.
Conway: I don’t give a flying fuck what asshole Congressmen, Democrat or Republican, think or do not think about “global warming”, or it’s ugly sister “climate change”. Sure, the Earth is getting warmer, but so are planets Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and fucking Pluto, not to mention a little moon revolving about Saturn, called Titan. All of these planets, along with Earth, reside in what is dubbed “The Solar System”, and revolve around a central star called Sol, a type G2 yellow dwarf, presently blundering through the “Orion Spur” of the Milky Way Galaxy for no fucking reason at all other than inertia and momentum. So, why is Earth warming, not to mention the other planets? Either the star Sol is becoming more luminous, or the Solar System has exited a dust cloud that protected Earth and other planets from the full brunt of Sol’s radiation. What can man or his megalomaniacal, power mad political leaders do about the above noted problem? Not one goddamned, motherfucking thing, that’s what. Ms. Seltzer, an unqualified know-it-all, swallowed the bald-faced LIES of anthropogenic global warming, voiced and promoted by a latter day Elmer Gantry named Albert Gore, a power mad, non-scientist multimillionaire who is after even MORE money and power. As one of Gore’s many brainwashed acolytes, Ms. Seltzer “has seen the light”, so to speak, and is helping to spread the dark “Gospel” of Albert Gore’s BAD News for Modern Man. Again, Ms. Seltzer is restating only rhetorical half-truths (the planet is indeed warming, but there is no REAL proof man is causing it), while obfuscating or even ignoring the real truth – this phenomenon is occurring on ALL the planets in the Solar System. Really, how the hell can whoremonger Gore or his devoted minions like Seltzer blame man’s emissions, burps, farts or whatever for every other fucking planet in the Solar System warming up too? Riddle me that one, Batman.
3) The new Congress will probably try to restore millions of dollars of funding for scientifically inaccurate, largely disastrous abstinence-only curriculum in schools, many of which have been shown to spread lies like “condoms don’t work” and “abortion causes cancer.”
Conway: That is only Ms. Seltzer’s “learned” opinion; there is no proof that Congress will even introduce bills with regard to the above, and the odds of the nigger signing such a bill into law, even if introduced and passed, are absolutely nil. As far as “abstinence” is concerned, Ms. Seltzer is deliberately splitting hairs and is painting with a very wide brush. Abstinence IS a scientifically accurate method for preventing conception – i.e., if you don’t fuck, you won’t get pregnant or if male, be a father, and if you don’t muff dive or suck cock you won’t spread STD’s like chlamydia, HPV or herpes to anyone and everyone. That IS the truth, but politicians or teachers telling kids not to fuck each other is like telling them not to eat, shit, piss or breathe. Everybody does it; it has to do with the sex drive and it feels good; those who deny such facts are fucking mongoloid idiots with IQs of blooming petunias. As far as condoms go, I’ve used them, and they have indeed busted when I was occupied busting a nut, so they may be right there. There are also indications that women who have not borne children are more susceptible to breast cancer, so they may be right there too. Nevertheless, if Ms. Seltzer meant to imply that “abstinence programs” do not work for the most part (and they don’t, I totally agree with her there), she should have just fucking said that, and not couched her opinion is propagandistic bombast like some kind of female Joseph Goebbels!
4) News outlets picked up a wildly inflated and completely outlandish claim from an Indian blog that Obama’s trip abroad cost $200 million a day–and listeners have swallowed it. (In this case, the White House flat-out denied it.)
Conway: Whether the nigger and his entourage of Secret Service, yes-men and other hangers-on are blowing 200 million bucks a day is not the real issue, though I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it were in fact true, White House denials notwithstanding. The question is why that coon needed to go to India in the first place, which was disguised as a “friendly visit” of sorts. Friendly visit my ass; Obama needs to con the wogs into buying our debt (bonds) due to the fact that the japs, gooks and chinks have had a bellyful of buying virtually worthless US securitized debt in whatever form. In order to stave off a bloody revolution, the head jig has to kiss sahib ass and promise more American JOBS to yet another Asian nation with nearly a billion living in fucking squalor, in the vain hope that currency (rupees) earned by India via exporting cheap goods to the US will be used to service our LITERAL BANKRUPTCY as a nation. That’s the REAL reason behind the fan-eared ape’s globetrotting, he has hat in hand, BEGGING for anyone besides sheenie Bernanke to purchase our Treasury securities and other assorted packages of “junk bonds”, which are just about as valuable as fucking radioactive waste in reality.
I will now address the remaining twelve items that our self-impressed freelance writer, Ms. Sarah Seltzer, handily borrowed from Newsweek, with credit of course, as she apparently ran out of biased bullshit she could personally author for the credulous drones to peruse.
5) Nearly one-fifth of Americans think Obama is a Muslim. Thanks, Fox news, for acting like this was a matter of opinion, not fact.
Conway: Again, Ms. Seltzer is either obfuscating, or is so fucking clueless with regard to Islamic culture that it strains credulity. For a short moment I will cease with pejorative references to both ragheads and hebes, referring to each using “formal” nomenclature, i.e., Moslem and Jew. That noted, according to Islam, a child born of a Moslem father is in fact born Moslem, a sort of patrilineal inheritance, just as to be considered Jewish, one’s mother must be a Jewess, a sort of matrilineal inheritance. In Islam, the mother means nothing with regard to “Islamic inheritance”, and in the culture and traditions of Judaism, the father means nothing when it comes to being considered ethnically Jewish. Both views are utter bullshit, yes, but hey, I didn’t invent the views, Moslems and Jews did, so blame them if you like. Ms. Seltzer, if she is half the Jew she claims to be, should at least know that if she has a Jewish mother, she is in fact a Jew, but if she has only a Jewish father, and say, a German mother, she is nothing but a common Shiksa, masquerading as a Jewess. Same goes for the current occupant of the White House; he had no choice in the matter, he was born Moslem, due to his father being Moslem, and remains one in the eyes of Moslems, period. So, the insinuation that Obama is a Moslem is indeed accurate, to a degree, based on Islamic culture and tradition.
Do I personally think Barack Hussein Obama is a Moslem? Absolutely not, and I never have. Obama wouldn’t make a good bump on a Moslem’s ass. Neither is he any sort of Christian; he is a pragmatic atheist, like myself, but, for appearance, he will feign being a Christian or a Moslem when the situation warrants it. That, of course, makes him a hypocrite, but no one is keeping score on the hypocrisy of politicians, other than myself, apparently. I submit Obama’s stance may be comparable to a statement allegedly said by Napoleon Bonaparte: “When in France, I am Catholic, when in Egypt, I am Mohammedan.” I further suppose that when visiting India, Obama was a Hindu, or a Sikh, or whatever faith those in his immediate presence were – Obama being a “religious chameleon”, for lack of a better definition. That is my unvarnished, personal view with regard to the “faith” of that interloping, arrogant, pseudo-intellectual, narcissistic nigger currently running this dying nation – he’s really just a cynical atheist, like I am, albeit a disguised one.
6) 25 percent of Americans don’t believe in Darwin’s theory of evolution while less than 40 percent do. Consider the fact that several of our newly elected officials, specifically newly elected Kansas Governor Sam Brownback, share that belief.
Conway: Who cares, according to the First Amendment, people are entitled to believe in whatever the fuck they want to believe in, or not believe in, as such the case may apply. Further, there is no religious or non-religious qualification for election to public office in the United States of America. I’m sure Ms. Seltzer, she citing the totally unbiased biased Newsweek rag for her screed, knows this fact, but as she is only penning subtle, slanted propaganda for liberal consumption, I suppose she can ignore that particular aspect of the United States Constitution, like the plainly evident, paid Goebbelsian propagandist that she is.
7) Earlier this year, nearly 40 percent of Americans still believed the Sarah Palin-supported lie about “death panels” being included in health care reform.
Conway: As socialized healthcare, judging from the history of other nations, is often rationed, I will not be surprised if patients in the near future are “triaged”, due to their age, advancement of pathological condition, and so forth. Not death panels per se, but how would you feel if a medical quack said it was not “cost effective” to treat you or save your fucking life? I wager you would be a tad upset, to say the least, and so would Ms. Seltzer if she were in the same situation, though she would deny such at the present stage of the game.
8) As of just a few years ago, about half of Americans still suspected a connection between Saddam Hussein and the attacks of September 11, a lie that was reinforced by none other than Dick Cheney.
Conway: I cannot argue with this observation at all, it is the truth.
9) While a hefty amount of this demonstrable cluelessness gets better as the respondents get younger, all is not well in the below-30 demographic. A majority of “young Americans” cannot identify Iraq or Afghanistan–the places their peers are fighting and dying–on a map.
Conway: I cannot argue with much of this observation either. Sadly, most young Americans I’ve met are utterly fucking stupid; I give them no credit for being smarter or more informed than their stupid elders, which was insinuated in the above example. Many young Americans can’t read beyond a fifth grade level, know nothing at all of history and algebra may as well be a foreign language to them. I submit they are perfect, drone like citizens for propagandists like Ms. Seltzer; they will swallow anything she says hook, line and sinker. Get this: a humanoid male of 25 or so had no idea of how to change a motherfucking car battery, or how to top off a goddamned master cylinder. So, I did it for him; I pity the idiot if he ever gets a flat tire. He was real good at video games though, and knows the complete dialogue of “Phantasm” verbatim! How any of that will help him get along in life is beyond me, but I’m an old bastard, so maybe I just don’t understand the importance of such “skills”.
10) Two out of five Americans, despite the whole separation of church and state being a foundation of our democracy thing, think teachers should be able to lead prayer in classrooms. So it seems those right-wingers clamoring to tear down the wall between church and state aren’t the only ones who don’t know their constitutional principles.
Conway: Little argument from me on this point, though I have met liberal religious nuts who have told me they see nothing wrong with prayer in schools either, so it ain’t just the fuckin’ right-wingers, baby! Superstitious morons come in every color, and with every stance, liberal or conservative and all in between. Further, if separation of church and state is so fucking sacred to the left-wingers, why have students in various areas of the country been instructed to read Korans, or visit Mosques to “understand” Islam? Don’t believe my words reader – use your goddamn BRAIN, type in keywords and look it up, it is a FACT, non-Moslem students have been FORCED by schoolteachers to study the silly Koran and to attend Mosques, in the FUCKING UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, where “separation of church and state” is supposedly so goddamned important.
11) Many Americans still believe in witchcraft, ESP and other supernatural phenomena. Does that explain why Christine O’Donnell was so quick to deny her “dabbling”?
Conway: So fucking what, many Americans still believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and UFOs, so why not witches, ESP, ghosts, goblins, demons or pointed-eared Vulcans for that matter? I personally believe that most folks are fucking looney tunes, that there is no god and when we die we rot in the ground and that’s it, but who am I – nobody. Many Jewesses like Ms. Seltzer still believe in a supernatural thing they call YHVH, or Elohim, or at least she pretended to when celebrating her fucking Bat Mitzvah, which I am assuming she did when she turned twelve. Or perhaps, as a feminist, Ms. Seltzer believes in a “Mother Goddess” or other such nonsensical horseshit that there is ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE of, just like all the other mythical crap handed down to us by our ancestors. As for Christine O’Donnell, who gives a goddamn what she believes in – I’d give my rotten eyeteeth to fuck that hot mick/wop witch/bitch, but she’d spoil it all and say no.
12) Speaking of antiquated religious beliefs, about a decade ago, 20 percent of Americans still believed that the sun revolves around the earth. That’s just sad, considering that even the Vatican has let Galileo off the hook for being right.
Conway: At this point in history I find that a little difficult to believe, but if true, it simply proves how ignorant 20 percent of the American population is, or should I say was, considering it was “about” a decade ago. I guess they’re all dead now, or were perhaps reeducated with regard to the Earth’s motion about Sol by dedicated teachers who sought them out and freed them from their woeful ignorance of our meaningless place in the universe. Incidentally, friends at Newsweek, it was Nicolaus Copernicus who was the first person to develop the heliocentric explanation for the motion of the planets, not Galileo Galilei, though he did agree with Copernicus, and the Catholic Church did in fact persecute Galileo for his belief in the heliocentric system of planet motion. Kindly GET YOUR FUCKING HISTORICAL FACTS STRAIGHT, for Christ’s sake!
13) Only about half of Americans realize that Judaism is the oldest of the three monotheistic religions. Other examples of wild misunderstanding about religion and the separation of church and state can be found in this fall’s Pew survey on Americans’ religious knowledge.
Conway: Religious “knowledge” they say? The terms are mutually exclusive. Anyway, who fucking cares, most Americans are simple, drooling morons, just look at what they continually elect for leaders. For the record, Judaism is in fact the oldest of the three current monotheistic religions, i.e., Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, in that order, but Judaism is not the oldest “monotheistic” religion. For example, an Egyptian dude named Akhenaten beat the Hebrews on that particular worldview by a few decades or so, with his “Aten” – the sun god, taking heliocentrism to heights never before seen. No doubt countless others during the past 100,000 years or so theorized and promoted that there was only one “maker”, or “god”, their gods, presented to the faithful in the form of the sun, or the moon, or perhaps even a boulder or whatever, lost to history forever. Alas, the introduction of Akhenaten’s monotheistic Aten construct went over like a fucking lead balloon among the clergy of ancient Egypt, and after he dropped dead and flew up to Aten or whatever, the old gods were restored and the dead Pharaoh Akhenaten’s name was stricken from all tablets and obelisks. You see, the ancient game of power politics never changes, usually following the Golden Rule – they who have the gold, RULE, and in doing so become drunk with POWER, making everyone else’s life miserable, e.g., what the devoted Aten worshippers left behind probably experienced after their apostate leader, Pharaoh Akhenaten, croaked off. I suspect they were all killed, violently, in the name of the gods of course, as often happens to terrible heretics. This draconian sentence was strictly enforced, to the last blasphemous apostate, to maintain utter terror, and complete conformity.
Incidentally, Egyptians also invented circumcision, where Egyptian humanoid males chopped off the prepuces of their dicks to “please” a god in their pantheon, like maybe that goofy jackal-headed motherfucker Anubis. Contrary to contemporary theological propaganda, that’s where circumcision originated, and has nothing to do with a delusional Semitic fool from Ur named Abraham, who also hallucinated he had to kill his own son, probably while tripping on Psilocybin mushrooms. How appallingly barbaric a “tradition” like the chopping of human cocks is; remember folks, circumcision is considered an honored part of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. However, circumcision is not considered absolutely essential for Christians, as explained by a Benjaminite guy named Paul, a reference to the unnecessity of genital mutilation with regard to Christianity written in his epistle to the Galatians, I believe.
14) This one made a huge splash when it appeared. In 2006 more Americans were able to name two of the “seven dwarves” than two of the Supreme Court justices. And that was before Kagan and Sotomayor showed up. To be fair, Happy and Sleepy are easy to remember.
Conway: No argument here; I wouldn’t be at all surprised if that is in fact true. I wager not one of them remembered Bashful or Doc though.
15) More Americans can identify the Three Stooges than the three branches of government–you know, the ones who are jockeying over our welfare.
Conway: Again, no argument on this point, as most Americans these days are stooges themselves – Three HUNDRED MILLION Stooges, that is.
16) So what to do in a political and cultural landscape in which well-told lies have more validity than fact-based truth? Perlstein explained how this environment gets created by explaining what happened on Election Day this year:
“…by a two-to-one margin likely voters thought their taxes had gone up, when, for almost all of them, they had actually gone down. Republican politicians, and conservative commentators, told them Barack Obama was a tax-mad lunatic. They lied. The mainstream media did not do their job and correct them. The White House was too polite—”civil,” just like Obama promised—to say much. So people believed the lie.”
Conway: This passive-voice trainwreck is NOT a sixteenth example; it’s not even a fucking twelfth example; I guess young Sarah is not very adept at counting, or writing for that matter, and critical thinking is not her strong suit. Example number sixteen is nothing but a verbose rehash of her first example, with Newsweek evidently quoting another sheenie named Perlstein. Being charitable, perhaps Ms. Seltzer wished to include the remarks of Joe Wilson as the first example and fucked up, you know, the honky Congressman who called the nigger a liar, which he is to anyone capable of critical thinking. Simply listen to Obama’s campaign rhetoric and then compare those LIES to what he has done. It’s that simple – Barack Obama doesn’t have a truthful bone in his entire goddamned body, and he’s as slippery as a bucket of eels. Anyway, even if she accidentally omitted Wilson, Ms. Seltzer still doesn’t know how to fucking count, as she stated Newsweek offered twelve examples and only eleven are cogently presented. That noted, she is either taking credit for her first example, the “tax” myth, or she was simply so caught up in writing her propagandistic bullshit that she felt compelled to post the “tax” example as an opening volley, like a female version of a latter-day Goebbels. Either way, it only adds up to fifteen examples, counting hers, or counting Newsweek’s.
Or – perhaps Ms. Seltzer is one hell of a lot smarter than anyone gives her credit for, cunningly realizing her usual readers are so goddamned stupid and clueless that they would miss it, and laughed demonically to herself when it went to press.
That’s my fucking wager.